Behind the smiles, the emojis
the exclamation points on Facebook;
behind the 'normal' chit-chat and "I'm fines";
behind the texts and business and noise of life,
you can hear it.
If you sit with me in the quiet,
and listen,
you will hear it too.
A high, keening wail.
If you cut me open, you see the source.
Another me--the mother
her mommy, her Best Buddy,
on my knees,
screaming into forever.
And that is what it means to be
bereaved
reaved, robbed, reft
something ripped away
If I stop and listen,
I hear it too
always
i can laugh and love
and feel the vast gratitude
for life
i am still here
but so is that pain
an engine of missing her
its spokes and wheels screeching
into perpetuity
some days it is louder than others
so loud
it comes racing up
past my broken heart
and I must change its course to tears
so I don't scare
the neighbors
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Published by JR
On August 20, 2007, Isabel was born. It was her father's birthday.
On June 20, 2018, Isabel passed away in her sleep from a cardiac arrest due to congenital heart issues. It was my birthday.
This is the thoughts, musings, stories and sometimes poetry about the life of Isabel, our life without her, and that of her little sister Talia, who has kept the light on in our lives.
View all posts by JR
I Have Two Daughters 
Scare them if you must, if that’s what YOU need to feel better, even for an instant. Love you and I feel so powerless …
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I hear it. I hear you. No laughter can cover it up. No ‘I am fine’ distract from it. Believe me, I hear it all the time ❤
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I have no words except that I’m sending all my love and hugs. ❤
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U can both charm and scare I’ve discovered in a state of grief unrestrained
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Along life’s path, without her, you must.
And in your strength, believe you must.
But while you’ll grieve and falter some,
You’ll still remain your daughter’s Mum.
Never question what you must do,
To quiet those thoughts just to make it through.
Love and hugs
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Those we love don’t go away.
They walk beside us, every day,
Unseen, unheard,
But always near,
Still loved,
Still missed,
And very dear.
🦋🦄
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❤
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I am so very sorry for the tragic loss of your daughter ,you may not be able to see or touch her but , she will be forever in your heart
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