This is grief

Feeling tired all the time. Eating more for comfort. Nothing holding much interest. Bouts of generalized anxiety and that feeling that “something is missing.” What’s missing is normalcy. The way life was. A desire to return to a time in which we simply didn’t feel this way. This is what grief is, and it’s what…

what remains

Ashes set into the sea in an orange salt urn glowing blue on the way down Instead of a child frolicking in the surf. Do you see, friend? Whatever I ask of you will never be as great as what was taken from me. During our recent trip to Kauai, I had one of those…

Personal Best: 2019 in review

A few months ago, I participated in an online grief symposium. “Why have you not mentioned this before?” you might ask. Mostly because I wasn’t 100% confident in my interview. I cried a lot. I rambled. I tried to stick the issues at hand but there is SO much to say when you lose a…

Take your days…

Before Izzy left, I’d heard the phrase, “Throw yourself into your work.” Of course, I had, but it was in books and movies where the mom was a mess and the dad “threw himself into his work.” But I didn’t know that experience of flinging oneself into a project in order to keep your mind…

behind the smiles

Behind the smiles, the emojis the exclamation points on Facebook; behind the ‘normal’ chit-chat and “I’m fines”; behind the texts and business and noise of life, you can hear it. If you sit with me in the quiet, and listen, you will hear it too. A high, keening wail. If you cut me open, you…

How to Survive a Broken Heart

her heart brokeso she left her bodyshe left her body and my heart brokei invite her to live in mineto fill in the cracks,with her loveso that we both find a way to live on

Eight months

It’s been eight months since I’ve heard Isabel speak. Eight months since I’ve touched her hair, or given her a hug and a kiss. Eight months since I messed with her cute little ears in the mirror while she stands at the sink, brushing her teeth. Eight months since I’ve heard her laugh, or cry,…