This is grief

Feeling tired all the time. Eating more for comfort. Nothing holding much interest. Bouts of generalized anxiety and that feeling that “something is missing.” What’s missing is normalcy. The way life was. A desire to return to a time in which we simply didn’t feel this way. This is what grief is, and it’s what…

Her perfect heart

I was digging through an old journal entry and found this: “Izzy once arranged for the school counselor to come and talk to her class about being nice to kids who are emotionally different than they are, to defend a classmate who had been ostracized.” I forgot that she had done that. She actually spoke…

My wish for 2020…

I’ve been scarce on social media these last few days. Snow, lack of wifi, and a need to recharge and kind of do some maintenance on myself have kept me logged off for a bit. I might still be scarce for a bit too, as I have the feeling that 2020 can be something real…

Personal Best: 2019 in review

A few months ago, I participated in an online grief symposium. “Why have you not mentioned this before?” you might ask. Mostly because I wasn’t 100% confident in my interview. I cried a lot. I rambled. I tried to stick the issues at hand but there is SO much to say when you lose a…

tired

I’m so tired of her being dead. I know that’s kind of a stark naked statement but it’s true. I’m exhausted with missing her. Every day, all day, for the rest of my life. Her death a life sentence. I carry her with me. I do. I know she’s not gone, but I’m weary of…

The most important thing

While June 20th became the special day as far as Izzy leaving us, everything that happened on This Day one year ago, (the night we shut off the life support), lurked in my psyche. Or maybe it’s woven in my soul, because it’s there whether I look at it or not. I spent the day…

in all things

If we all come from stardust, then you are galaxies. The light in this sweet face, lit from within, is born of a million suns, and my own body that carried you And carries you still. Your breath is the wind now. Under my hand, you are the tree. And the grass. And the ocean….