While June 20th became the special day as far as Izzy leaving us, everything that happened on This Day one year ago, (the night we shut off the life support), lurked in my psyche. Or maybe it’s woven in my soul, because it’s there whether I look at it or not.
I spent the day at the DMV of all places, trying to renew my license. I was actually supposed to have done this last week, but the entire system was down, statewide. So here I am, waiting for five hours in the DMV, reading and keeping my brain occupied. But when it’s my turn, I get in an argument with the very rude guy behind the counter, and I’m sent home to go get a different piece of documentation.
I’m driving home, alternating between seething and crying, because while this is a sucky turn of events, it’s not the end of the world. But THIS DAY just wants to be acknowledged. So I’m super frustrated and sobbing and concocting dramas in my head about telling the rude guy off, and FORCING him to acknowledge the pain I’m in that he has no idea about, and OMG won’t he be sorry when he finds out what This Day is????
So I get home, get the paper I need, and try to calm down. My mental DMV soap opera is silly and unnecessary, but the actual pain is still very real. So I ask Izzy for a sign. Something to keep everything in perspective and keep me close to her.
I get back to the DMV and am given a new number to wait. It’s not long before I’m called, and while a different lady is processing my stuff, I look up and behind her on the wall is a placard urging people to become organ donors. The text reads as follows:
“When Izzy was a baby, she needed a new heart. Thanks to her donor, she now lives a life of endless possibilities.”
The references to Izzy and a heart were ‘wow’ enough but “endless possibility” is the name of a book I wrote, so I guess that was my sign. I felt even calmer than before and when it came to get my picture taken, I was sent back to the same rude guy.
“Hello, again,” I tell him and give him a smile. He quickly passes me off to his co-worker, but it’s okay. Because our argument was never the most important thing in my life today. Not even close.